


In Just a Moment's Time

by sailorcreampuff



Series: In Which L and Matsuda Are Super in Love [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Neck Kissing, Self Confidence Issues, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-27 15:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12584864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorcreampuff/pseuds/sailorcreampuff
Summary: Matsuda rarely leaves the investigation building, even on breaks. L wants to figure out why.





	1. Chapter 1

L appreciates Matsuda just a little bit more than he lets on. It's not like the older man is _actually_ stupid, after all; in fact, his work during the Yotsuba case has led L to believe that Matsuda's intelligence was slightly above average. Alongside geniuses like him or Light, of course Matsuda would seem dull in comparison. Not everybody is in the top 1%.

Of course, L's relationships with his employees must be kept as politely detached as possible. There is no room for pleasantries. Matsuda makes this difficult, for reasons that aren't entirely clear. For example, he is eager to please in a way that's troublingly endearing. L notices his habit of scratching the back of his neck when he's embarrassed, and wonders why he notices. Even when he is dismissive or blunt, Matsuda simply does as he's asked with a broad smile. It stirs up L's insides. For one thing, years of detective work tell him that Matsuda's cheerful attitude isn't always genuine, bafflingly enough. If the older man is so stressed, why does he pretend to always be so energetic?

But it isn't him that L must investigate. He sets aside the image of Matsuda's pink cheeks and nervous laughter. He always giggles and stutters when he is embarrassed, and it almost makes L wish he could embarrass him more for the hell of it. Matsuda has nice fingers, too. His hands are gentle, and probably warm and- and he must ignore all distractions. When Matsuda checks in with him for the third time that morning, he waves him away and barely spares the poor man a glance.

He can tell that Matsuda admires him, and is hurt when L denies him any recognition for his efforts, but any guilt that the detective feels is quickly buried where he keeps the rest of his emotions. Still, he watches from the cameras the way Matsuda lays in bed in his apartment of the building, staring up at the ceiling blankly, at times. On days where he grants everyone a break, Matsuda usually clings to the rest of the task force for the day, rather than visiting his own friends, his own family. When all is said and done, L is fully, painfully aware that Matsuda is a lonely man. Almost anyone would feel a pang of sadness to witness it, he thinks.

Or, rather, perhaps a little company would benefit Matsuda's productivity... even if it increased the risk of producing unnecessary emotions in either of them. L convinces himself that he is doing this for the good of the Kira case, before he heads into the elevator and presses the button for Matsuda's floor.

Even with entire floors all to themselves, most of the officers spend a lot of time outside. Not that L understands _why_ when they have access to their own king-sized beds, master bathrooms, and flatscreen televisions with cable. Matsuda's own floor has pleasant, light yellow walls in the main room. There is an excess of potted plants and flowers around, obviously well attended to. The main room is kind of a mess, and L absently thinks that Matsuda is grateful they don't do cleanliness checks.

Matsuda spends more time on the bottom floor with everyone else than in his own space. He is one of those people that thrives off of human interaction. When he's speaking to Light, he gives upbeat responses that clash with the underlying emotion only L can hear. He actually doubts Light's innocence himself, doesn't he? Matsuda is just excellent at hiding it. He ponders this as he rings the doorbell. He is determined to be of some comfort to the older man, somehow, even if he has the social skills of an alien.

Matsuda answers and looks momentarily surprised, his mouth making a little "o" shape before grinning and showing his white teeth.

"Ryuzaki-san!"

L considers smiling back, but knows it would look unnatural. He settles on a neutral, not-pissed expression.

"Matsuda-san. Hello."

"Did you need me to come down to the office, or something? Wait, where's Watari?"

L swallows, suddenly a bit embarrassed.

"Watari's watching the surveillance cameras right now. I just came to... visit."

"Oh!" He hesitates, as if waiting for the detective to reveal some hidden prank. When he doesn't, he asks, "Would you like to, um, come inside?"

"Sure."

L shuffles inside awkwardly, and Matsuda closes the door behind him. The interior of his apartment is lavishly decorated, French rococo style. It's nice, and it's to L's taste, but it doesn't quite suit Matsuda. The juxtaposition is almost humorous. He walks towards a fancy couch in the living room and sits down, bringing his knees up to his chin. The older man stares at him awkwardly.

"What brings you here, sir?"

"You don't have to call me that," L says, too quickly. "I couldn't help but feel that you might want some company."

Matsuda takes a seat on the couch across from him. They are separated by an expensive-looking table carved with ornate patterns. Watari had gone all out in furnishing the place.

"Oh?"

L shifts his feet around absentmindedly. He isn't looking at Matsuda, but he's still paying his full attention. "Yes. Everyone in the task force was given a day off, and yet you're staying here. Why is that?"

Matsuda scratches his neck. "Well, you and Yagami-kun are here, too."

"That's different. Going out into public would be putting my life at risk," L says. "And even though we've been unchained, I still want to keep an eye on Light-kun for a little while longer."

"Yeah." Matsuda looks down at his hands. "I guess I just don't have a lot of friends outside the police force? Haha."

L isn't sure how to respond. If he were more socially skilled, he might have offered some kind words, but he settles with "Me, neither."

It's quiet for a few seconds. The light is streaming in through the window's semi-translucent blinds, warming L's back. When Matsuda speaks up, his voice is uncharacteristically quiet.

"I don't need to be... pitied, you know."

L freezes, but says nothing.

"I'm an adult. And no matter what the rest of the team thinks of me, I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm not going to be a burden to you guys."

L's eyes widen. He glances up, and Matsuda's eyes are on his hands in his lap. The edges of his lips are still curled up slightly in a smile, but his eyes aren't smiling.

"You are not a burden, Matsuda-san." He nearly whispers. He shouldn't be surprised to hear Matsuda speaking this way, but somehow, he is.

"I know."

"Hm?"

"For the most part," He sighs. "I know the rest of the task force doesn't think so, though." He's stretching, now, and staring at the ceiling. "If everyone else thinks I'm useless, then maybe I really am. Maybe I should quit the investigation."

"I don't... I don't think you should."

"Really?" Matsuda finally meets his eyes, and the older man looks so tired. "I could tell that was why you came... You felt sorry for me, I guess."

"That's not it." L is leaning across the table, thumb pressed firmly against his lips.

"Then why are you here?" Matsuda's voice wavers, but doesn't break. L realizes that he must be holding back tears, or maybe anger.

L gets up and then sits over on Matsuda's couch, on the opposite side from him. The older man flinches, and looks away from him.

"I wanted to thank you." He says.

Matsuda looks at him over his shoulder. "What?"

L is about to toss his pride out the window, but decides that it's far more preferable than watching Matsuda struggle. He takes a deep breath, and says what he assumes is the best thing for the other man to hear.

"I am being completely and totally honest when I say that I appreciate the work you do."

Matsuda slowly turns towards him, his eyes lighting up. "You do?"

"You're extremely helpful to the investigation. Please understand this. We could not have made as much progress as we have had it not been for your intuition."

"But I... Even the one time I made myself useful, I still screwed up." He mumbles.

Matsuda's brown eyes are a little too shiny, though L thinks he is feeling better than before. The older man blinks, and his eyes release a few twinkling tears. Matsuda pretends they aren't there, but L is transfixed by them. Without thinking, L slowly leans in and kisses his cheek to dry it. It feels like the reasonable thing to do. Matsuda gasps softly and stares at him, eyes wide, as if looking for an explanation. L presses a kiss on his other cheek, and when he leans back, the older man is blushing fiercely.

"Ryuzaki-san?"

Matsuda is unfairly cute right now, and L has to physically restrain himself from kissing him again. In truth, he's not 100% sure why he did it in the first place. He had considered himself immune to something as primitive as physical attraction. Maybe he'd seen it in movies one too many times, and impulsively kissed Matsuda just to calm him? But then, why is it so tempting to do it again? 

On the surface, he has to pretend he knows what he's doing, or feign innocence. He settles on the latter.

"What's wrong, Matsuda-san?" He says with wide eyes.

Matsuda buys it. "Y-You... what was that for?"

"What do you mean?"

"The..!" He's too embarrassed to say _kiss_ , and it's adorable. L has never seen him so red.

"Did you hate it?" He says in mock concern.

To his surprise, Matsuda stammers, "N-No! Um! Sorry, Ryuzaki-san..."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"You didn't have to... I thought... I'm..." He's rambling under his breath now, half-incoherent.

L weighs the percentages in his mind and decides there is an 87% chance Matsuda would enjoy even more affection. He tries it out, tentatively leaning in to cup his face. Matsuda tenses, then relaxes again. L gently presses their lips together. The older man kisses back timidly, and they pull apart after a few seconds. 

"You're smarter than you know, Matsuda-san." He says sweetly.

Then, because his confidence is wearing off, L decides it's probably time to leave the poor man alone. He rises, gives him an almost smile, and leaves the way he came. Once he's out the main door, his steps become hurried. He needs to process everything that's happened, but for now, he thinks he's happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this pretty impulsively so it's kind of free-flow... please bear with me! I love this ship and I'm saddened by its lack of content.
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, L!


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at work, Matsuda is acting strange. He is more quiet than usual, and seems to have thrown himself into his work quite vigorously, tapping away at the keyboard like a pianist on crack. Aizawa attempts to make small talk a few times, but Matsuda gives only short replies without taking his eyes off the screen. Could something be distracting him? L stares at the back of his head from across the room. It wasn't the kiss, was it? Had he been that affected?

L has never thought of himself as particularly attractive, so the idea that his kiss could throw someone so off-balance is difficult to comprehend. Yet it seems like the only possible cause for such erratic behavior.

"Matsuda-san."

The man freezes, and L feels just a touch of guilt. Matsuda then turns his chair, slowly, and faces the rest of the room. His expression is neutral, but his actions still convey a subtle nervousness. "Yes?" He asks, levelly.

"Could you please retrieve the case file for the Nakamura Riku murders? From the archives. I'd like to review them again."

"Of course!" The enthusiasm in his voice contrasts with the way he leaves the room, with stiff, awkward movements. The rest of the team glances at each other, and Aizawa shrugs before they return to their work. Except Light, who still sits at L's right side.

"What's up with him?" Light whispers.

"I wish I knew."

"Hm... You don't think he's mad at one of us, do you?"

"That sounds doubtful, Light-kun. Please continue working hard." He smiles awkwardly at the end to try and get Light to stop asking questions. He does.

Ten minutes later, Matsuda is back, looking like he's just run a marathon. He approaches L and hands him the correct manila envelope, labeled on the front in Sharpie. As soon as L grabs it, the other man pulls his hands back rather quickly. L shoots him a questioning glance, but Matsuda just shuffles hurriedly back to his chair. The room has gone silent again.

It is slightly awkward and tense until 5:30, when everyone is released for dinner. L has a lot of questions, and waiting the entire day to ask them had been torturous. To his relief, Matsuda seems to be in no hurry to leave. Once the room is empty, he crosses over and speaks to him.

"Your behavior was unpredictable today."

Matsuda chuckles awkwardly. "Ah?"

L likes Matsuda. He realized this at approximately 11:24 p.m. the previous night, when the day was over and he was alone with his thoughts. It is more than physical attraction; L admires everything about him, and decides he must be clever enough to admit defeat. He is captivated by this man, but it isn't a bad thing. In fact, L cannot think of a safer person to have feelings for. Matsuda is comforting, kind, and familiar. Matsuda isn't like most other people, who seem to get frustrated with him for no reason. He can't imagine the possibility of Matsuda betraying him in any way.

"Would you mind terribly if I joined you for dinner?"

He hopes Matsuda will say yes, and he knows he will, but he hopes it will be out of genuine interest rather than a sense of obligation. Matsuda smiles bashfully.

"Not at all."

The two end up getting takeout from the restaurant across the street, and walk back to the office carrying plastic bags. Matsuda isn't saying much, but he seems content enough. They're waiting for the crosswalk to activate.

"I'm really surprised you haven't been here before, Ryuzaki-san! I know you prefer pastries and stuff, but Japanese food is pretty tasty. I _definitely_ think you'll be interested in the mochi I bought."

"You're probably right," L replies, and rubs his thumb against his bottom lip.

When they make it back to the building, Matsuda is still happily chatting away, as if today's earlier awkwardness has been forgotten. They take the elevator to Matsuda's floor and go to the dining room. The dining room table is ridiculously large, with enough chairs for ten people, and a flawlessly polished wood finish. They sit next to each other, despite having plenty of space.

"Do you know how to use chopsticks, Ryuzaki-san?"

L snorts. "Of course."

Matsuda passes him a packet of cheap wooden chopsticks. "Just checking. I always just see you eat stuff with your hands or a fork, so..."

He nods. "Fair enough."

\---

The meal was rather mediocre, but L supposes you get what you pay for. He did like the mochi, too, just like Matsuda suggested. He makes a mental note to sometimes ask Watari for it from now on. Matsuda is in the kitchen, storing leftovers in the fridge and throwing away the trash. L takes the opportunity to wander around.

There are a few unique things in the living room. A cute cactus, a stack of shonen manga, and Matsuda has proudly displayed his college degree in a frame on the wall. He plops down on the love seat and continues studying the room. He can hear the other man call his name in the dining room, and feels a sort of childish amusement at not being found. Matsuda enters and smiles at him from the entryway.

It is at that moment that L remembers the couch he is sitting on is _the_ couch. As in, the specific couch he kissed Matsuda on yesterday. The thought makes him... embarrassed, maybe? It has been a while since he's felt anything akin to shame. Still, it makes him excited, too.

Matsuda sits on the other far side of the couch. L notes that his hands seem to be shaking.

"What's wrong?" He says.

"What do you mean?" Matsuda chuckles nervously. "I was just thinking."

"Is it because of the physical contact I initiated yesterday?"

"Wh- huh?"

L feels warm all of a sudden, and curses himself internally for saying such a thing out loud. Making Matsuda uncomfortable is the last thing he wants.

"I am sorry if you disliked it," He blurts. "But Matsuda-san was being so cute, I couldn't seem to help myself."

"W-Wait, _what_?" Matsuda yelps. "You... ah..?"

L has never been so amazed at his own stupidity. He knows from research that infatuation can cause one to make poor decisions, or act strangely, but this is truly on another level entirely. He claps his hand over his mouth to stop himself from speaking. He just stares helplessly at Matsuda, who is growing more flustered by the second.

"You think..." The older man pauses, as if trying to piece the information together. "You think I'm... cute?"

L nods from behind his hand.

"So... Ryuzaki."

L raises his eyebrows (or rather, where his eyebrows would be) when Matsuda drops the honorific. Even if it's technically a code name, it still feels unusually intimate.

"Hm?"

"You... actually like me? This isn't some weird prank?

He finally removes his hand so he can reply. "Indeed. For some reason or another, I seem to have developed romantic feelings towards you."

"Oh!" Matsuda gasps. "W-Well that's, um!"

"I do not expect you to reciprocate in any way. How you react will not change my opinion on you as a member of the task force, either."

"No, no!" He frantically waves his hands out in front of him. "That's not it. Actually..." He does that cute habit where he touches the back of his neck.

L assumes this means it is okay to kiss him, so he does. It's another nice, slow, kiss, and when he pulls away, Matsuda looks surprised.

"...I like you too." Matsuda breathes.

The look in his eyes is so soft. This time, he kisses L, hesitantly, and L wraps his arms around his back to pull him closer. Usually touching other people feels... bad, wrong somehow, and he avoids it whenever possible. But he could get used to doing this. Matsuda is trembling again, and L slides one of his hands over his to calm him. Matsuda lets out a content sigh. His kisses are clumsy, but that's why L likes them. They're honest.

He gently pushes Matsuda back so he's laying on top of him, and peppers little kisses on the side of his neck. The other man goes totally still, and L is briefly worried he's done something wrong until Matsuda makes a confused noise.

"What?" L whispers.

"Why did you... stop?" He asks, sounding out of breath.

"I thought you didn't like it."

"Oh," Matsuda says. "Um, I did." The next thing he says is what absolutely kills L. "...Could you touch me some more?"

Matsuda's skin is hot, and his hair is hanging in his face, and he's asking nicely- and who is L to deny such a polite request? He takes Matsuda's suit coat off (why is he still wearing it?), and starts loosening his tie. As his fingers brush against his neck, Matsuda inhales sharply. L nips at the soft skin, not hard enough to hurt much.

"W-Wait, wait," Matsuda tilts his head up. L stops. "Why are you even..? I mean, why would you, like..."

L cocks his head in confusion. "Why would I what?"

"...Why would you like me?" He says in a tiny voice.

L chuckles under his breath before he can stop himself. "Because," he says, punctuating each word with a kiss, "You're brave," On his neck. "You're smart," By his ear. "But you're also clueless," On his cheek. "And not to mention," He murmurs, keeping his eyes on Matsuda's, "You're kindhearted, and very attractive."

Matsuda has been rendered totally speechless by this, and claps his hands over his face in giddy embarrassment. "Ahhhh!"

It's a pleasant thing to see. He moves to pop open the first button on his shirt, but Matsuda's hand stops him. "Ryuzaki-san, um..."

"Yes?"

"I think doing that is a little, ah, too fast for me." His face is burning. "Sorry."

"You're fine," L reassures him against his lips, and they kiss until the both of them are tired. 

L's head is laying on Matsuda's chest, and the other man is shyly playing with his hair. This, he decides, is just as nice as anything more sexual would have been. He'll have plenty of time to explore that front later. Taking it slow, holding each other- that is what's important right _now_ , in this very moment. The rise and fall of Matsuda's chest is even more calming than he could have imagined. And having his hair stroked was... nice. He can't remember he last time he's allowed someone to touch it.

His eyelids are heavy. What time is it? Does it matter? He has never _liked_ sleeping, but doing so right about now doesn't exactly sound awful. He closes his eyes, telling himself he'll just rest them for a bit. As he dozes off, he thinks he can feel Matsuda grabbing a blanket and covering them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the ending disappointed you, I'm sorry! I'm gonna write a NSFW one-shot that fits in with the same universe, but I wanted this one to stay SFW and focus more on the development of the relationship between the characters. Thanks for all the nice comments! <3


End file.
